Louis Shalako
Boy, it sucks getting older, eh.
Or maybe it’s not so bad—at least, at long last, we
seem to have our shit together. It’s got something to do with that attitude.
It happens in a number of ways.
I had to get over my shyness, (or maybe I just wanted
to) and one way of doing that was to exercise on the beach. I have all kinds of
thoughts on the subject.
If people want to laugh, that’s fine with me.
I am also a bit of a comic character, so there.
I’ve done a couple of short sets of very simple upper-body
exercises today. It’s important not to hurt myself, as I have to go to work
tomorrow. Quite frankly, I need the money. I can’t afford to quit, let alone be
injured.
At the beach this morning, I used a big rock which
probably weighs six to eight pounds. I was glad to see that no one had stolen
it in the night.
It’s got a good shape so that I can keep a proper grip
on it. I wouldn’t want to drop that on my foot or on my phone, both of which
would be painful I am sure.
The first exercise is simple curls, which can be done
one-armed with different sized dumbbells. Or a rock. I did ten or twelve of
those. This is for the biceps. I’m standing for all of these exercises. Then I
do lifts straight up, an overall shoulder exercise, another ten or twelve.
Then I do lifts up and outwards from each shoulder, on
roughly a forty-five degree angle.
I’ll do five or six of each, and at this point, my
hands are definitely a bit shaky. If a beautiful woman walks past, I am
resolved to smile and nod and to say hi.
Then I do another kind of simple lift. This involves
holding the rock down by the hip.
Now simply straight-arm the rock up to the horizon in
front of the face. Hold it for three seconds, and then lower it down again. You
want to maintain control of the rock. I do about three to five of those. Then
there is a similar lift where I’m holding it by my hip and lifting it straight
out sideways from the shoulder. You can feel it pulling on your shoulder muscles, that is for sure. Bring the rock up to the horizon, hold it for
three seconds, and then lower it carefully down again. By this time, about
three of these are more than enough when first starting out. You can always
pick a different rock if it is too heavy or too light. The last exercise is to
hold the rock down by the hip and then curl it up, stroking it up in close
alongside of my body. It’s an underarm lift.
Later, back home in my living room, I took the
ten-pound dumbbell and at full arm extension, laid it on the carpet above my
head. I’m lying flat on my back. From there, I straight-arm it up so it’s above
my chest and my head. Straight up, and then carefully lower it down to a few
inches above the carpet. After three of those, maybe four, I switched arms. I
switch hands with the weight off to one side. If I drop it, it’s not going to
hit me. The next exercise is similar. Only in this case, the lift is from an
arm extended out to the side from the shoulder.
This is another straight-arm
lift, and I bring the dumbbell up above the centre of my chest, or above my
chin, that sort of thing. This leads to the last of the very simple exercises I
have been doing. This is a simple dumbbell-press, straight up and down again to
the shoulder. I alternate arms after ten or twelve repetitions. If you have a
bar, you would be using both arms. I recommend very small loads for older
people just starting out. What you want is more repetitions in that case.
You want to establish the habit, and that means not
hurting yourself or trying to change the world in a day or two.
Right?
Here’s the thing. When you get older, you might sleep
on your side and then you wake up in the morning with pain in between the
shoulders. You have a really good sleep and then wake up with a crick in the
neck. This is due to lack of muscle tone, where the simple weight of your body
is putting stress and compression on muscles and joints that aren’t able to
properly withstand it.
Note, none of these exercises will do much for that
little pot-belly, but simply standing to do them probably does strengthen the
core-body group of muscles—which was why I was at the beach in the first place.
I stand navel-deep in the cool lake water and soak the pain out of my hips and
lower back, the knees. After a while, I lean over and soak my elbows and
wrists. I walk around a bit. Try and stand up, resist the force of the light
waves. Stand up on the land, raise the chin and try to get a bit of a curve
into that lower back…it’s funny how often you hear a little click in the stiff or sore area, as
something drops back into its proper place.
Walking on sand is an exercise in
itself.
Being barefoot in the sun and the sand has its
Zen-like qualities. It is sensual. It helps to get in touch with your own body.
It is a minor workout in its own right. Quite frankly,
it seems to do a lot for me, and no doubt some of that is pure Zen, i.e. a kind
of personal applied psychology. It’s all about the quality of your life.
For that reason, a light and simple routine might be
of great benefit to anyone who is interested. As for my own goals, I’ve never
really had pectorals in my entire life. Not much, anyways. At the age of 58
years old, it would be interesting to see if I could actually give myself some.
Otherwise I’m going to be stuck forever with this
saggy little pair of man-tits.
END
Image Credit. By Raquel Baranow - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=43853612
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