Louis Shalako
This time of winter, the anger lurks very close to the surface. There's still a bit of winter left, and the first half of spring isn't all that nice either.
#winter
I was planning to go to work tomorrow morning, (that's because I desperately need the money) and then make it to the Salivation Army food bank in the afternoon. (That's because I don't have any fucking food in the house, and ODSP payday isn't until next week.)
Unfortunately, my brother wants to drop his car off at the high school auto class so that they can work on it. (For free, right.) And he will need a ride home, and then a ride back later. My car acted up yesterday, but it worked well enough today. This is no guarantee for tomorrow.
As I mentioned in a recent blog post, I have my own fucking priorities.
I go to work in the morning. I go to work in the morning, not the afternoon, not the fucking evening, not in the middle of the fucking night. That’s so that I can get done, get paid, and get the fuck to the nearest God-damned grocery store, and yes, the smoke-shack, and yes, maybe even the liquor store, or, sometimes, maybe even just a good, old-fashioned, God-damned fucking food bank.
Hey, maybe I just want to go to the dentist sometimes. Right…???
The Salivation Army food bank is open four days a week here in Sarnia, Ontario, from one o’clock to three o’clock in the afternoon. I guess maybe that’s what I was thinking—I could go to work in the morning and then go there in the afternoon.
Having gone to the dentist’s office this morning to get a cavity filled, only to discover that the tooth was cracked lengthwise, and had to be extracted, I've had nothing to eat but soup today.
He ain't exactly the world's greatest communicator. An even worse listener—
And now, if you don't mind, I will proceed to punch THE UNIVERSE right in the mouth, however symbolically.
#fuck
I had money a few days ago, (that’s because I worked),
and while at Walmart, I noticed Swanson frozen dinners on for $1.77. Right next
to that, they had Stouffer’s frozen entrees on for the same price. I asked the
lady at the checkout if that was right, and scanning them, it seems that it
was. I bought four of them, for $7.08.
I’ve been sort of rationing them out, mostly because I
don’t always feel up to making some big, set-piece dinner. One measly fucking
Salisbury steak dinner, 345-grams, will be the only solid food I get today. Yes,
I know exactly how lucky I am to
have that—after all, I’m the one who has to arrange all of these little secular
miracles. Just to illustrate, I’m a grown man of 58 years of age,
six-foot-five-and-three-quarters, and I weigh about 206 lbs.—a bit on the
skinny side for my height, maybe, but after twenty-two years on the Ontario
Disability Support Program, what in the hell else would you expect.
That’s the
funny thing about plans, ladies
and gentlemen. No matter how good, or even how simple it might be, there’s
always somebody out there all ready and waiting to fuck it up for you.
END
Fuck. Anyways, I have some books and stories available
from Kobo. Have a look if you like, there’s always something
there for free.
Click the author’s name, and you’ll see quite a number
of titles.
Images. Top: NASA, the UNIVERSE, about to get a
symbolic punch in the mouth. Bottom. Self-explanatory, pic by Louis.
Thank you for reading my fucking shitty little rants.
