Let A Fucking Kid Drive On A Fucking Road, Ladies and Gentlemen. Louis Shalako.

Louis Shalako

My nephew is eighteen or nineteen years old. He’s in his first year at York University, whose faculty is on strike for wages, job security and working conditions. Which is a bit ironic, as this government has sort of pretended to tackle precarious work and low wages, at least on the front pages of local journalism. They're all about fair wages, right.

<Vomits in unrestrained fashion.>

(He means local journalism, ladies and gentlemen. -- ed.)

When it comes to putting the taxpayer's money where the fucking government's mouth is, they're surprisingly coy--

He’s had driver training, and he’s got his beginner’s license.

Of simple curiosity, I asked him today, when he would be okay to drive on his own.

“Five years, Uncle Louis.”

Five fucking years.

Apparently, he has to go through the G-1, the G-2, and the G-3, and the G-4, and the G-5, all of which demand some fee and some written test, before he can drive on his own, drive without another licensed driver in the passenger seat beside him, drive before dawn or after dark, or drive on a 400-series highway.

Five fucking years, ladies and gentlemen. In the mind of a teenager, this is never going to happen, and I know that very well from previous experience. So why should they even try.

When I was a kid of sixteen, I bought a car for a hundred and fifty bucks, I paid six hundred for the first six months of insurance, while I was just getting on the road.

I got my beginner’s a few weeks after my sixteenth birthday. Back then, you could get your old man to teach you to drive, practicing in a parking lot at a nearby mall or community college.

You could get a ways out of town, and the old man would let a kid drive, all the way from Sarnia to Owen Sound, admittedly at night, and with the instruction to just cruise at eighty or ninety kilometres per hour, while he caught a few zzzs and you learned how to use a manual transmission.

I can’t help thinking that my nephew, whose university education has been disrupted due to this government’s intransigence regarding unionization, collective bargaining, and precarious work of a white-collar nature, is being royally fucked over in terms of his employment prospects, due to the fact that he’s not legally entitled to drive on a fucking road, ladies and gentlemen.

You'd be surprised, just how many higher-paying jobs, demand a simple driver's license. Not every kid is going to work at Tim Horton's or Burger King for the rest of their lives.

You got another thing coming, if that is what you rat-faced fucking pukes believe.

As for the government and the bourgeoisie, what the fuck is wrong with you people.

END

You rat-faced basterds really ought to check out my books and stories on Google Play.

Thank you for fucking reading this.