ODSP/OW Comfort Food. Stone Soup. by #fritz

 

Served with stolen, or 'foranged' cherry tomatoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Due to the fact that the Province of Ontario has zero intentions of raising disability pensions anytime soon, we are pleased to bring you this age-old, family recipe for Stone Soup.

I come from a Scythian background, thanks very much—

First, you will need to visit your local parking lot and do a bit of foranging. Basically, telling the disabled that they will need to forage for their food can be a bit degrading, a bit dehumanizing, a bit of a genocidal bourgeois fallacy, a statement which debases the speaker even more than the people he, she or it is talking about, but the fact is the English language has long needed a word that rhymes with orange…it just sounds a lot more fun.

Today’s recipe includes purslane, which grows in a base soil, for example cracks in concrete pavement, and which can be found everywhere due to crumbling infrastructure in this post-truth environment. Purslane is good for aches and colds and sore assholes, and pimples on the dink, so don’t be afraid to experiment. We like to give this a good, cold rinse and then a long soak, again in cold water. We do the same with any cannabis leaves we can scrounge, (or scorange), but the fact is that shit is barely smokeable…

Dandelion greens are a hearty, tasty, easily procurable salad vegetable, although you don’t want to use the ones found in a rich Progressive Conservative’s lawn as they are riddled with banned weed-control chemicals. A trace won’t kill you, but it’s not too good for the innards, and you don’t want to turn into a superhero, otherwise you will be wearing capes and leotards for the foreseeable future. It’s all right for the girls, but yeesh, buddy. How friggin’ gay is that. Anyhow, wash the bird-shit off that in the usual way.

The bourgeois idea of how the disabled should live...

This recipe calls for four or five large stones, and while beach stones are the best, nothing beats good old limestone. Honestly, it really doesn’t have to be igneous or metamorphic.

If you’re feeding small children, well!!! Kids just love those colourful little breakfast pebbles already; and who doesn’t enjoy a good day at the beach. Just give ‘em a good wash, to get the bird-shit offa there and place them in the bottom of a pan.

 

Cooking.

Place stones and four cups of cold water, along with any other ingredients, in a saucepan donated from the Inn of the Fucking Goof or any crummy, shitty thrift store, whom, as you know, are working very, very hard to prevent the government from raising ODSP/OW, (disability/welfare). I like to cook them to an internal temperature of 165 degrees per the Ontario Safe Food Handlers Guide. Salt and pepper, season to taste. A bit of margarine will put a slick on there, like Talfourd Creek any day of the week around here.

Meal prep is made easy-peasy!!!

***

Once you get that up to heat, poke holes in the rocks to let out the blood. When the juices run thin and clear, the stones are done. As for storage, (better yet, storange), stones need to be kept in a cool dry place, so a bucket under the kitchen cupboard will do just fine. No refrigeration required, and sometimes that is a good thing.

As you can see, even a single guy like me can make enough for leftovers.

Leftovers is good, ladies and gentlemen.

It’s time to eat. Try not to look like you’re enjoying it too much, hungry as hell as you must be by this point, i.e., the second or third day of the month after cheque day. If you are on ODSP and you’re not suffering enough, the middle class figures they are getting #ripped_off .

Next week: Cock Soup, which is actually just a dead rooster.

Although almost any dead bird from the side of the road will do.

Honestly, it’s not a cock. Not a real one, anyways.

Which give us something in common with the Minister, who, in my own impression, probably hasn’t seen a real cock in years. 

Which seems a bit odd, as she’s not a bad-looking lady.

 

#fritz

 

Fuck that, I'm outa here... #da_Rooster

 

Hysteria Versus a Sober Analysis of the Facts.

Louis Shalako

The true ideologue is among the most ignorant of men, for he asks no questions, (although they do make a lot of statements), and needs no new information, and wouldn’t entertain an idea if it bit him on the ass. He already has all of his answers, provided to him in the most dichotomous terms, by his father’s dinner table conversation, at or about the age of nine years old.

They never forget, and they never learn anything new.

However, you and I can do better than that—


Freaking Out.


When people freak about Mr. Ford's slashing of proposed increases to ODSP/OW, one must bear in mind these were pre-election promises made by a doomed government.

There is no guarantee that they would have ever been implemented. At one time, the Liberals had proposed a massive shift, where welfare was eliminated and everyone would get, essentially, $749.00/month in subsistence. This would be four hundred less than ODSP clients were already getting, and in fact my own rent is more than that. So it remains to be seen just how far Mr. Ford will go, or how far he even can go, bearing in mind certain realities--e.g. the fact that my landlord is dependent on that disability cheque to the tune of $788.00/month. 

And I can assure you that the landlord is a conservative.

It is true, that I tweeted to former Premier, the Right Honourable Kathleen Wynne, seven or eight days before the election, that there was still time to raise ODSP and OW rates, in an act of simple justice. She admitted on the front page of many media outlets, the very next day, that they couldn’t win the provincial election. There was still some time, they had a majority, and yet they made no move to adopt the suggested changes.

#facts

Okay, read the second last line. Now recall, that I tweeted the new Premier the following question—this was just a few days ago: Doug, what sort of preliminary data were we getting back from the Basic Minimum Income project?

Now. Reading between lines, bearing in mind the Progressive Conservative ideology, it is an easy guess, that the program was fairly successful, in that outcomes were, in general, positive, and with at least some of the promised savings for taxpayers, even though the program took millions in funding. It has also only been going since early 2017—

The cynic in me says this is exactly the kind of information that PCs would prefer not to receive, as it contradicts their ideology, which is that work brings dignity, (more cynic), and the less it pays, the more dignity it brings. (On a dollar-for-dollar basis, this is true on some level. It is a level only ideologues and capitalists can understand, perhaps justify is a better word).

Mr. Ford is not going to pander to his critics, he has all the power. But he will, inevitably, pander to his base, no matter how ignorant and unsophisticated they may be.

Him too.

##Doug_Ford @FordNation #ODSP #OW #Louis

You guys know my attitude towards food banks, they are of course a national disgrace, and there are an estimated 1,000 of the fucking things here in Ontario. However, it is even possible that Canadian journalists also read my posts, and they're not exactly stupid. What they are, is thin on the ground, overworked and underfunded, and with the precarious nature of this particular calling at this particular time, not inclined to rock too many boats when advertisers are, for the most part, business advertisers—business big and small.

The other advertisers are the government, charities, (like fucking food banks and shit like that), as well as a few multinational corporations of a predatory nature.

Perspective: The Harris government slashed OW by 22.5 % back in 1995. Mr. Ford has slashed an increase by 50 %. The Liberals had promised three percent, for three years in a row, the Conservatives have left much doubt about the two years after this one. I don't like the man's policies, but if he follows my advice, we can still improve people's lives (I'm on ODSP) and still save a few taxpayer bucks. This is why I will be tweeting at him every day for the next 100 days.

If you have a concrete, specific suggestion, you can tweet the Premier, #Doug_Ford at @FordNation

No ineffectual do-gooders please.

Together, we can make a difference. Sure beats hysteria.

#hysteria

Doug, I totally agree with the Minister—social services is a patchwork, a mess, a fur-ball.

The question is what to do about it.

The thing is to do it right, with the minimum of pain and disruption to Ontario's most vulnerable citizens.

#Doug_Ford @FordNation #ODSP #OW #Louis

A simple test. If the preliminary data coming from the Province of Ontario's Basic Income pilot (now cancelled), was all-negative, then I have no doubt it would be quickly released by the government. If it was at all amenable to spin, then I suspect some spun version, shall we say more interpretive than hard numbers and facts, would be released at a somewhat later date—this allows them time to do the work of spinning it. But if it was mostly positive, or completely positive, the odds are the government, this government, would have no real incentive to release that data.

#analysis #tests #facts #honesty #interrogations

(Louis is always interrogating the system, ladies and gentlemen. – ed.)

On behalf of the taxpayers of Ontario, who paid for this study, I hereby call upon this government to release this preliminary data.

It will be interesting to see, if the Right Honourable Doug Ford, Premier of this fine province, can get the affected department, in the face of their own soon and imminent demise, to do the work of analysis and digestion of aforesaid data.

Honestly, if we could simplify this bullshit, it would free up a few hundred million for other projects, including poverty reduction. #snork #cynics

…and now you know how I really feel.

END

At the time of this writing, Louis has all kinds of books and stories available for free from Smashwords. He would hate to see anyone miss out—

Thank you for reading.