The Top 10 Best Exercises for Back Pain.

Swimming is like sex. A total body work-out.

Louis Shalako

Here are my Top Ten picks for the best exercises for back pain.

Bear in mind that a severe injury requires long-term rehabilitation, and it may be unwise to begin an exercise program at the height of the simplest lumbar spasm or back strain.

Consult your physician before beginning any exercise program especially if you’re doing it for remedial reasons.

The author’s perspective is that of a person with three compression fractures at L-3, L-4, and the T-6 vertebral level. T-6 also has a 2.5 cm hemangioma (benign tumor) on the left side of the central (posterio-lateral) process. What this means is that pole-sanding drywall or similar activities can irritate this radial nerve centre, right between my shoulder blades, causing chest-encircling pain similar to angina. Due to the L-3 and L-4 injuries, bending over to pick up a penny can send the author into lumbar spasms, and lifting heavy objects is, shall we say, ‘contra-indicated.’ Walking, sleeping, or even just sitting on the toilet can be painful when the injuries flare up.

That being said, the original injury occurred May 4, 1989, so I’ve had time to learn a lot about it, including how to manage it and cope with it. While it did change my life in some pretty negative ways, nothing’s ever going to be perfect, is it? You just have to keep it in perspective. I much prefer being a writer anyway.

Walking. Walking is recommended as a treatment. While walking, the body is upright, which strengthens the lower back muscles and the area of the pelvic girdle. It also goes towards aerobic fitness and general, overall conditioning.

Stretching. Stretching can sometimes help alleviate back pain. It can also help prevent recurring injury or irritation of affected areas. Professional athletes stretch before any sporting activity and there is a good reason for this. It gets the muscles and the joints ready for action, and pre-stretches the ligaments. It gets the circulation going, and it prevents cramping or more serious injuries. If you experience pain during stretching, it’s an indication that things are not well. It’s your body saying, “Maybe you should take it a little easier today.”

Cycling. When cycling, the upper body is supported by the handle-bars. The feet and legs are supported by the pedals and the seat. The torso is supported by the seat. The motions of the legs are rotational. It is a much lower-impact activity than running, jogging, or other more vigorous sports. I started off cycling, believe it or not, practicing ten or fifteen minutes per session, in the tennis courts behind the place where I lived at the time. The first time I ever rode my bike downtown and returned, about 4.5 kilometres, was a major victory for me. Nine years later, my first ride of the season was longer than that and I’m happy enough in that it didn’t cause much pain except for a little stiffness and soreness in the lower back and hips. Cycling much farther would have been a different story. It’s a question of finding your limits, but gently. And then, gently, pushing them a little bit further each time you go out. If it’s too much, back off and slow down for a few days. The results, over the long term, are definitely worthwhile. And yes, sometimes there is a little suffering in there as well. I actually disagree with this article, but they are referring to healthy (and young) individuals when they say cycling doesn’t strengthen core body muscles. If you have not been exercising at all, and suffer from poor muscle tone in the core body area, cycling is less likely to irritate an injury, (compared to jogging, say,) — going by the article, where it says, ‘Cycling does not strengthen core body muscles.’ So it’s not going to irritate them either. Also, bearing in mind my own injuries at the L-3 and L-4 level, bending the spine takes pressure off, and sitting on the seat also takes pressure off. I can walk anywhere from 750 metres to 1250 metres, on a good day, before I start to get the early-warning sensations of impending lower back pain. I can ride my bike, on a good day, fifteen or twenty kilometres before I really start to feel it. Simply put, I can ride my bike to the beach, I can’t walk there. Ever. That’s why cycling is recommended, but consult your own physician prior to any exercise program.

Swimming. Swimming is low-impact, and the body is supported by its own buoyancy in the water. It’s a workout for all muscle groups. It’s fairly heavy exertion nevertheless, which helps in building muscle tone. It’s great for overall conditioning and aerobic fitness. In my own case, it’s wonderful for a feeling of fitness, even of accomplishment. It’s a manly thing, to dive in like Tarzan and swim a couple of hundred metres without touching bottom. I kind of like that feeling. “Swimming is a prime rehabilitation tool for back injuries.” ‘Nuff said.

Tai Chi. It's good for balance, overall conditioning, mental health, and posture. It encourages centring in movement, that is to say keeping the centre of gravity low and taking a proper stance when required. It clears the mind and calms the inner voice.

Weight training. Seriously, but don’t try to clean and jerk 350 lbs. the first time out of the box. I had forty pounds on the bar, (this was years ago now) and the first few times I would do five repetitions of any exercise. I was never a ‘weight-lifter,’ nor do I wish to be referred to as one. I was ‘exercising.’ But, I injured myself often enough, even in just developing a routine, that I got rid of the set and have no regrets. Now I have a heavy hand-squeezer, (a spring-loaded device), and one ten-pound dumbbell. A few simple exercises and my heart is thumping and my respiration is elevated. So is my circulation. I have six or seven exercises that I do once in a while. I don’t do more than ten repetitions of any of them. The most often you should ever exercise with weights is about every second or third day. In the article the gentleman advocates side-crunches. Think long and hard before you do more than three or four of them, especially when first starting off.

Yoga. I’ve done some of the exercises, the Cobra for example. Recommended.

Yoga may help with back pain. > Trollderella.

Golf. I’m not a golfer, so I have no experience with this. However, you’re going for a long walk. You’ll be doing some stretches and warm-up exercises, and as part of your week, eighteen holes of golf isn’t going to hurt you if you take care to stretch and warm up first. If you’re in a lot of pain, skip it and wait until next time. The link shows two good stretching exercises that apply to other sports and situations as well. If nothing else, standing around for part of the time is better than sitting all the time. Putting a little thought into the swing and the stance might actually help your game, along with some simple and ‘light’ weight training. I’m a firm advocate of doing clusters of sports, if you can manage it. I walk and hike, ride the bike, and swim. Anything else would be a bonus. None of it costs much money.

Hydrotherapy. When I was in hydrotherapy, there was a small wading pool, where the water was quite warm. For me the perfect bath temperature would be about 106 F, and this wading pool wasn’t quite that hot. The actual pool was at least eighty degrees Fahrenheit. Most of the class consisted of elderly people, (mostly women), who had absolutely no muscle tone at all. There was one gentleman who had undergone a double lung transplant, which you could see by the scars on his back and the bumps where the saw-cuts in the ribcage had healed. For people absolutely out of physical condition, the exercises were very gentle, and sessions of about a half an hour were plenty.

Photo by New Zealand Defence Force.

Gymnastics. I’m not suggesting that you leap and fling yourself about when you’re suffering from a back injury. Simply using the parallel bars, or holding yourself up on the rings with arms rigid, might be of some benefit as it definitely strengthens core body muscle groups. All of the stretches listed here are good and you can throw them into the mix from time to time. Even I can walk on a parallel beam, and it’s good for balance and stuff like that. It’s good for the mental health in some ways as well.

Physical Therapy. For best results, physical therapy should be undertaken as soon as possible after a serious back or spinal injury occurs. It should always be done by licensed workers and under the care of your personal physician.

Alernative Sports.

Wall-climbing under professional supervision.

Canoeing and Kayaking. Advice: take it slow and easy, wear a life-jacket and stay close to shore. Learn a little something about life-saving and first aid before you get too ambitious.

Softball, T-ball, Two-Pitch, any of the fun games where winning isn’t necessarily the primary focus. If you can stand to run from twenty to fifty yards without major discomfort, it at least gets you outdoors and into the fresh air and sunshine. A buddy of mine used to have his own two-pitch league or something. He didn’t make a whole lot of money at it, but he was in charge of prizes and throwing the year-end banquet. By all accounts it was a pretty good party and he got in for free and everything.

Sailing. On a boat, you won’t be leaping and running about, but it’s a good healthy workout nevertheless. Wear a life-jacket. I’ve sailed Petrels, Pelicans, Sunfish and Lasers, I’ve conned a Grampian 30. That’s about it.

Skate-boarding. Unfortunately, this one seems to be high-impact for a lot of people. And yet just getting about by skateboard looks like a remarkably healthy way of life.

Skating. Whether ice or roller skating on conventional ‘square’ skates or roller-blades, it’s much lower in impact (once you learn how to stay up on them) than running or jogging. It’s an excellent cardiovascular workout. You should be stroking edges rather than slamming back to the ground at every step, right? It’s all about smoothness and technique, energy management. I’ve seriously considered rollerblades, but I don’t know…at 54 years old, that one’s a bit of a stretch.

Cross-country skiing. It takes a bit of technique, and it’s one hell of an aerobic workout, but the only time I ever injured myself cross-country skiing was when, a.) I fell or b.) I got a little too ambitious and didn’t quit when I should have. But I used to go out behind my house and ski perhaps a kilometre. I had little circuit and by the time I got home, it really felt like I had gotten some exercise. As for the occasional comments from high-school kids and other knuckleheads, who really cares what they think anyways?

Throw a Frisbee.

Take dance lessons.

Play catch with the dog.

Sex. Seriously. Like swimming, it’s all all-over work-out, and generally-speaking, doesn’t require the purchase of a lot of special equipment.

Good luck with the program and take care of yourself. You’re worth it.

Why the Disabled Must Destroy the Government.

It's not easy oppressing the disabled. But
somehow they manage. Canadian Film Centre.

Louis Shalako

If you are a disabled person living in Ontario, you have probably asked yourself the following question.

“How am I ever going to destroy the government of this formerly-fine province?”

The question is a pretty rational one. After all, they plan on destroying you. They’ve been chipping away at you since the day they took office, and the fact is the Conservatives were worse.

Much worse.

Right?

And if you have even half a brain, (and I sure know I do,) then you must also have asked yourself what would happen if you, or better yet, we, succeeded in this fine and noble goal.

The problem is a simple one. If the disabled manage to defeat the Liberals, the Progressive Conservatives seem the most likely winners. The NDP would form the opposition and the Liberals would go back to their natural state, i.e. a rump.

There are reasons for this. Not the least of which is that disabled people alone can’t determine the result of the provincial election, which must be held by Oct. 1/2014. There aren’t quite enough of us, although we get plenty of new recruits every day. Our numbers are growing, ladies and gentlemen. The Star is hinting at a spring election, a bit of a no-brainer for a party which has little going for it except empty rhetoric and a long list of broken promises and failed initiatives. Oh, sorry—they do have a few scandals.

When they warn of a minority government, that’s scare tactics—they’re holding the Conservatives over your heads.

In order to do that, the Liberals first had to stand on your throats.

Don’t forget that part.

The facts are simple and undeniable.

We need the help of other Ontario residents to do it. They have their own concerns, but this writer has never doubted that they sympathize.

Let’s hope they’re mad enough to consider some healthy alternatives.

One of the challenges faced by the New Democratic Party is the reputation, a rather unfair one as it turns out, of Mister Robert Rae, former Premier of Ontario during the years 1990-95. Robert and the NDP swept to power, as things generally go. They were young, and brash, (which I have always admired in a man,) and inexperienced. They were riding a wave of popularity and a general optimism all across the vast province that we lived in once but now we merely endure.

The NDP does have a social agenda. It’s a much more positive one than is popular these days. It’s much more optimistic.

Understandably enough, in the early1990s, the provincial NDP government set out to change the world. I have to give them a lot of credit for that, but of course they never foresaw the big recession that hit shortly thereafter. It’s a funny thing about global recessions. The experts, the economists, the irrational monetary theorists of the world, never see them coming. It is only in the hindsight of revelation that we realize they somehow made out like bandits, while all of the rest of us were suffering…struggling to keep a roof over the heads and food in the bellies of our children.

But I digress, ladies and gentlemen.

I say the reputation is a bit unfair because Robert had a sweeping vision for social change. At least at that time. Such things indeed cost money, and the media, some of which is owned by former Conservative Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, (Sun Media, etc.) has taken some time and trouble to smear him over the last twenty-five years as a ‘tax-and-spend’ Premier. It doesn’t cost a Conservative much to slam a former NDP Premier, (he probably enjoys it, both men in fact) and in fact we all know Mr. Rae joined the federal Liberals as a leadership hopeful.

If nothing else, the gentleman has leadership qualities.

I’ll talk later on, about why I think the Federal HST, 13 % on most purchases here in Canada, is inflationary.

The provincial Liberals have taken a provincial budget that was $68 billion or so annually, and bloated it, so that it has now almost doubled over their tenure. It’s a relatively short period of time to wield such magic, but then they are special, aren’t they? They’ve also managed to run up quite the deficit.

The former Premier and two of his top aides, narrowly avoiding criminal charges, at least so far, have been thoroughly discredited. No one wants to forget them more than the surviving Liberals themselves.

I would suggest that you remember their names, they are Dalton ‘Snake’ McGuinty, Dwight ‘The Doughnut’ Duncan and then of course there’s that other Fat Bastard.

There are 700,000 known disabled in the province of Ontario. If you are disabled, or if you know someone who is disabled and eligible to vote, it is incumbent upon you to get registered to vote; or help them to get registered to vote. It is important to be proactive.

Don’t wait for them to come to you. I haven’t been enumerated in years. The buzzer doesn’t work on this building, and I’ve moved five times in the few years. They don’t really care if we show up or not. In fact, they hope that we won’t.

They sure as hell ain’t gonna come lookin’ for me.

That’s because they know we have exactly zero reasons to vote for either the Liberals or the Conservatives.

Who can forget Mike Harris, Ernie Eves, and oh, yes, Mister Jim Flaherty, presently federal Minister of Finance, the man who continually lied about the bank bailout and the true state of this nation’s economy. 

In fact the man is still doing it. Take a look at that face, ladies and gentlemen.

Either a liar or mistaken much of the time.
(Joshua Sherurcij. Wiki.)

This is your enemy.

But he is only one of the enemies of the disabled.

What we need to do, in our inclusive little alliance, is to make damned sure we all vote the same way.

Pick one. But only one.

Let’s vote NDP. I have no idea of what their platform ultimately will be. But then, I don’t much care, either.

I guess you could call it a measure of my desperation—and I still don’t really care.

We might call this attitude one of political nihilism.

What that means is if we can keep the Liberals and the Conservatives out, after that, I don’t much care what happens.

That’s because both the Liberals and the Conservatives have made our lives a lot more miserable than they really had to be.

And I’m real tired of being punished by people who morally aren’t particularly all that well suited to pick up dog turds in the backyards of their own mansions. (Not that aforesaid individuals don’t pay servants to walk aforesaid dogs in public parks. After all, it saves on the landscaping, and lush green lawns say it all, don’t they.)

I say, we, the people of Ontario, have no choice whatsoever, but to pitch the Liberals out, and for all intents and purposes, chuck the damned Conservatives out too. And keep them out.

We know who they are.

For some reason we are not welcome in their little society.

***

Let’s take a chance. The Conservatives are little too vicious for our liking, the Liberals a little too expensive and shifty-eyed.

There’s not much point in voting for the Green Party. Their economic platform looks like Sarah Palin got together with Kim-Dumb-Son and Fox News and put a few speaking points together for an audience of (barely) tame chimpanzees.

There are critics who say the NDP are ‘socialists.’ It’s absolutely true.

Socialism is all of us, working together for the common good.

Democracy is the most benevolent and least invasive form of socialism that has ever been tried.

That’s why they called it ‘democracy.’

Some people see that as a negative point, but I kind of like it, myself.

One of the really great things about the NDP is that they actually have a chance of winning, unlike the Green Party, who won’t poll one percent of the popular vote. The fact they are currently listed at six percent shows just how accurate polling really is.

The NDP can win this one.

But even more importantly, the interest groups, the pressure groups, lobby the NDP much less than the government, and of course the Tories are the biggest lobbyists of all. It’s what they do when they need to moonlight and make a few extra million bucks.

Of course the insurance industry, the chemical industry, the power generation industry, they lobby those who they think will first and foremost win, and those who will be amenable to suggestion, ladies and gentlemen.

They are of course looking for like-minded individuals, whoever is leaving the biggest slime trail, no matter to them, if those individuals are good for nothing and hard on food.

***

Here is an unpalatable truth.

The government can’t raise the ODSP subsistence rates. Do you know why?

Because then Ontario’s disabled would actually have a better lifestyle than someone working forty hours a week, for the $10.25 minimum wage. That’s because wage earners pay taxes. They pay OHIP and WSIB contributions, they get deductions for Canada Pension—did you know Kathleen Wynne wants to bring in a provincial pension plan? She’s got an eleven-buck an hour minimum wage?

Do you think she knows exactly where the poverty line actually is?

Sure she does. She wants to keep them minimum-wage earners hungry—otherwise they’d be tempted to book off and take the kid to the dentist.

The disabled have medical, drug and eyeglasses, the most basic dental care benefits. Imagine making eleven bucks an hour, part-time, and your kid gets a toothache. That’s going to cost you.

What if the kid needs glasses?

You will always be struggling. And most minimum-wage workers don’t even get forty hours a week.

***

Yeah, but what are the odds the Liberals could ever keep their hands off of a provincial pension plan? 

Especially if there was any kind of surplus. What are the odds that if the Conservatives came to power, they would scrap it, and, keep all the money? It’s not like they could ever give it back. They would be claiming to pay down the debt or something and, oh, how fast it would all evaporate, eh? Imagine the tax breaks they could cut their buddies. That would dissipate quick, wouldn’t it? They wouldn’t even have the grace to use smoke and mirrors. With them it’s all justification, nothing more. It’s all ideology with them guys. They’ve never had an actual, original thought, in their entire lives.

Who knows, maybe some Conservative cronies would find themselves in the rather enviable position of being paid a couple of hundred million for a power plant they didn’t actually have to build.

Alas, so far, it’s only been the Liberal cronies doing that. And of course the disabled get to pay for it with their grubby little hides, which come remarkably cheap to this government.

My spin on this is that we need to boot these highly-esteemed, good-for-nothing-individuals out, have done with it, and at last, finally, have a chance to move on with our lives.

I, for one, would like to take my life in a slightly different direction than the good old ODSP’s rather limited vision.

‘Cause we all know how that works out in practice.

The NDP would have a growing economy to look forward to in their early years of power, for surely Mister Flaherty is optimistic about the future.

You remember, he’s a federal Conservative.

The sort of people who make hay out of other folks’ catastrophes.

***

Okay, I know you’re all asking, so Louis?

Why is the 13 % HST inflationary?

When guys like the beetle-browed, semi-economist, the Right Honourable, Jim Flaherty, Minister of Finance, would hotly deny it.

Because if it was removed, what would happen?

Canadians would have thirteen percent more money to spend on food, shelter, clothing, transportation, fuel, rent…mortgage payments...lots of good things, really.

Your dollar would be worth that much more in an instant. That would be, in classic economic terms, ‘deflation.’ And the opposite of deflation, is…wait for it…inflation.

To artificially jack the price of goods for no real reason, surely this is the worst kind of inflation.

I say that because they’ve never really managed to pay down that nasty old deficit, have they?

It only gets bigger. And Mr. Harper is harping on rearmament. I guess we can thank Putin, a slightly more extreme case of conservatism, for that.

It’s only a matter of degree, separating the two men, ideologically, ladies and gentlemen. One is a little more extreme than the other, that’s all.

Putin is the arch-conservative, so much so the Tea Party in the U.S. sort of idolizes him

***

Inflation wipes out corporate debt, destroys the life savings of the middle class—who are now on the hook for paying off all of that corporate debt for them, and of course it makes the lives of the poor intolerable.

That’s why they do it, ladies and gentlemen.

Even Paul Krugman, the noted (Nobel Prize-winning) economist has called for a sustained period of ‘moderate’ inflation. What that does is make all pensions and fixed incomes smaller.

Every year, your disability pension is worth less and less. The government knows that very well.

How much longer do you figure you can stand it?

***

Inflation is when it takes more dollars to buy the same thing.

It goes like this: what once cost $1.00 now costs $1.13.

That is inflation, ladies and gentlemen, and that is also all of our time for today.

Oh, poo, I almost forgot—that is also the sound of the good old Minister of Finance being caught out in another mistake, Mister Flaherty.

‘Cause if it’s not a mistake then it must be a lie.

You read it here first, ladies and gentlemen.

END

Note. I was a bit surprised to see the poverty line pegged at something over $23,000 U.S. in one of the supporting links in this Mother Jones article, where some of the most common myths about poverty are explored and de-bunked. A single person on ODSP here in Ontario is living on about $12,600 a year CDN. 

And there are people out there in the world who can justify that. Kathleen Wynne is just one of them.

Here’s the recent poop on party desertion, the humbling but necessary support of the NDP for this government and its budget to survive, and some other neat stuff. (The Toronto Star.)

Craigslist Horror Show.

Caveat Emptor.

Louis Shalako

Here are ten Craiglist horror stories, compiled by Crime Library and posted on Daily Dot.

***

Tried to sell a table, ended up with an evening of Psycho Horror. (Where Is Jenny?)

***

Recklessly Seeking Sex on Craiglist. Two self-conscious people with low self-esteem have a long talk. (NYT.)

***

Sleeping Around Craigslist. “Dangerously low self-esteem,” issues of sexual abandonment.

“Years before embarking on Craigslist, both of us had experienced sexual abandonment. We were both hungry for intimacy and physical touch after years of wandering in the desert. Our lives were on similar trajectories.”

“Lily Penza, 46, had been overweight since her teens and suffered from dangerously low self-esteem. At age 28, she moved in with the first man who looked her way. It was a virtually sexless union for 10 years before a therapist helped her come to her senses and move on. Lily never married and spent most of her life caring for an ill parent who died recently. So she lost 40 pounds and decided she would make up for lost time.”

(Names have all been changed in original article.)

(Alternet.)

***

My Craigslist Casual Encounter.

“A year ago, I'd never heard of normal women trolling Craigslist looking for no-strings sex. But recently, I became one of them.”

“It had been two years since I'd last had sex (I know, I know). I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. My friend and I laughed about finding an easy way for me to get laid, bandying about out many ‘40 Year Old Virgin’-esque pickup bar strategies. Then, she laughed and said that I should ‘just put an ad on Craigslist, like everybody else.’"

(Lemondrop.)

***

Beginner’s Guide to Anonymous Craigslist Sex.

“The reason so many str8 men indulge their bi-curiosity (which you will come to learn and learn well throughout this piece) on Craigslist is that they simply get fed up looking for women only to get scammed over and over again. Most posts by men under M4W go ignored or are only answered by the previously mentioned hookers and webcam girls, and sometimes the occasional horribly unfortunate-looking real woman looking for a casual good time. It's like seeing a unicorn, only if unicorns looked a little more like this little guy.” (Ranker.)

***

“People should be Careful Putting Personal Ads on Craigslist.”

“You would think people would be a little more cautious when it comes to answering personal ads on Craigslist, but, apparently, such is not the case with Rep. Christopher Lee — the married New York congressman who abruptly resigned last Wednesday after a shirtless picture of him and allegations of an online affair surfaced on the gossip website Gawker.”

“According to Gawker, last month Lee reportedly responded to an ad placed by a then unidentified woman in the “Women Seeking Men” section of Craigslist.com.” 

“The woman — 34-year-old Yesha Callahan — a single mother and University of Maryland employee — sought a ‘financially [and] emotionally secure’ man who could prove that not ‘all [Craigslist men looked] like toads.’”

“Unfortunately for her, the handsome congressman, although not toad-like in appearance, undeniably shared a few of the less attractive qualities of toads, sliminess being one of them.”

(Daily 49er.)

This writer is unacquainted with the individuals in the above piece, personal remarks are merely reported, and not endorsed, neither are they disputed.

***

Why Craigslist is a bad spot to catch predators.

“Venson Villapando had, in the words of his psychologist, a “normal” heterosexual interest in ‘adolescent and adult females.’  In 2009, he logged into Craigslist’s 'casual encounters' section and responded to an ad with the headline ‘looking to get by in hard time-w4m (hb),’ where w4m stood for 'woman for manl and 'hb' stood for 'Huntington Beach, California.'  The ad was posted by Detective Alan Caouette of the Huntington Beach Police Department, who pretended to be a 13 year old girl, Jessie Browne, offering to have sex for $100.  After many, many electronic conversations over more than 5 months, Villapando eventually showed up at a Carl’s Jr. parking lot in Huntington Beach apparently thinking he would meet Jessie for prostitution.  Instead, he was arrested.  A jury subsequently convicted him of attempting to have sex with an underage girl.”

(Forbes.)

***

Bay Area Cops Use Craiglist to make 57 sexual-offence arrests. (Gawker.)

***

Well. If that doesn’t put you off the Craigslist personal ads, I don’t know what will.

Personal advice: Bring your own condom, let someone know where you are going. If your instincts tell you something is fishy, get out or don’t go in the first place.

It’s a mad, mad world out there.

While everyone needs love, and in the opinion of this writer, adults need sex regularly, the fact is that sometimes it just ain’t worth it.

I won’t comment on law enforcement in my own home town. But when I see ads, for example, ww4m, (two women looking for one man,) or ’18 and looking for older man,’ that just seems a little too good to be true, doesn’t it?

***

My own singles ads might go something like this: Man with no prospects looking for Woman with No Prior History.

Personal note: A date with somebody nice would be one thing. The prospect of intimacy, possibly leading to a real relationship, one that two busy and independent people might enjoy, (rather than just tolerate) would be nice. Sex isn’t necessarily a good thing on a first date.

Other than that, I’m not looking for trouble—and there’s plenty of that out there if you’re not careful.

There comes a time when you take your chances and take your lumps, quite frankly.

Or you can walk away and just keep walking.

Nothing is worse than death, dismemberment, disappearance—or being labeled a sex criminal and doing hard time for a crime you never intended to commit; framed up by an intolerant local police department staffed by Tea Party types and their abusive little hangers-on.

Quite frankly, I think I would be better off alone, and that’s especially true after seeing some of the blue-haired old biddies on Zoosk.

To be fair to Zoosk, they do ask your birth-date and you can filter the results.

Oddly enough, I am no longer a member--so you can forget about looking for me there.

END