Sunday, March 26, 2017

On Bread.




My neighbour was here earlier, and she asked me for some vegetable soup and tuna, because she knows I go to the food bank and I got a lot of it. Yeah, whatever. I sure as fuck ain’t going to eat it.

Much to my surprise, she started reading the labels as soon as I dug a few tins out of the cupboard. I was drunk, what can I say…the only thing she really forgot was the freshness date. That’s her mistake, and thanks for the cheap thrills.

We’ll see if she dies or what.

Apparently, a tin of vegetable soup will provide one-third of your daily allowance of monosodium glutamate. There’s some tomato juice and potatoes in there as well. This is in addition to a few other chemicals. The tuna, will provide you with x-amount of the same thing, and the great thing here is that there is no sugar in tuna. Lots of iron though, or am I thinking of convection-oven braised turnips. You’re better off to get that somewhere else. 

Like, in the beans or the creamed corn or something. The Kraft Dinner….the Spaghetti Noodle-Os. The peameal bacon, slimy as fuck from day one from the food bank. Lots of enzymes and shit in that. Free radicals and non-saturated fats.

Right? If that don’t clear up the old microbiome, I don’t know what will. As long as you don’t poop too often. You need time to absorb it.

Now, if you have cereal in the morning, that will give you two-thirds of your daily allowance of sugar and fifteen percent of your daily dairy intake. I’m sure you can do the math for yourself.

Assuming a large coffee on the way to work, a cup of tea, a bottle of water in the car and a glass of orange juice and an apple Danish on your break, you’ve now received eighty percent of your daily sugar intake but only 0.17 percent of your daily intake of vitamin-K and E-type anti-oxidants. You’ve got a whopping forty-nine-point-three percent of your daily vitamin-C. 

Not too much vitamin A and B, (or G) but what the hell. What the hell.

Trying to figure all this out will drive you crazy, and that’s why we’re here to help.

Okay, so it’s lunch now and you’ve had two slices of bread and a thin scrape of margarine. 

You’ve had a slice of bologna and a Kool-Aid drink box, cherry-flavoured.

You had an apple on the freaking bus.

You’ve had a slice of orange and a breath-mint, not to mention the strawberry douche last night. This is point-oh-one-three of your daily intake of sugar, nineteen percent (total, for the day) percent of your daily intake of whole grains and rice. Following me so far? It’s absorbed through the subcutaneous membranes, so watch out.

So now it’s time for that Snickers bar in the bottom drawer…ah, caught you there.

You’re busted.

Right?

Yeah, we know who you are now—you’re fucking confused, and you can’t deny it.

And yet you’re still hungry—can’t stop eating, which is what the government would advise.

It gets better—trust me on that one, it gets better. But this is why the government forces all them poor, dastardly retailers to put nutritional advice on the packaging, the purpose of which is to confuse the living fucking hell out of you. They don’t want you to know what you are eating, and that’s just the truth of it. Because that pork sandwich is all over the place, that Twinkie is going to kill you, and it’s all just a big waste of health-care dollars. So be sure and try to eat right, study the fuck out of that shit, and it will all save the taxpayers a whole shit-load of money in the long run. In the end, ladies and gentlemen.

In the end…

Now, if you’re smart, you’d eat 175 grams of salmon, one poached egg and a serving of hummus, and nine tablespoons of cinnamon a day, (one milligram of which would be good on an apple Danish), along with 4.2 micro-milligrams of turmeric and 40 mega-micrograms of ginseng. On the other hand, the quart of whiskey ain’t going to kill you, three packs of native smokes and a gram or two of crystal ain’t going to hurt you none at this point. We do like our sin taxes around here…

All that fucking stress, right…???

It’s just our government trying to look after us.

Now you know you’re really living.

You know what’s really good? Crushed garlic, keeps away vampires and everything. And radish juice. That works too.

So you’re all bellied up and feeling pretty good about things.

You really got something at this point.

I won’t say a word about the Ramen and the pasta.

Still,

…on this diet, you’re better off dead.

(Don’t read that shit, Lous. – ed.)

Now, this bread, which I made myself, has less than 0.0013 % salt and maybe double that in sugar. There ain’t no preservatives. No poly-absorbic fucktate. It’s probably the best damn bread you are ever going to eat.

What’s in there is flour, water, yeast, sugar, salt and cooking oil. That’s it, nothing more.


End






Wednesday, February 15, 2017

A Submission to the Government of Canada on the Subject of Poverty Reduction and Housing. Louis Shalako.




A Submission to the Government of Canada on the Subject of Poverty Reduction and Housing


Louis Shalako


Copyright 2017 Louis Shalako and Long Cool One Books

Design: J. Thornton

ISBN 978-1-988621-05-0


The following is a work of non-fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or deceased, or to any places or events, is purely coincidental. Names have been withheld. Facts and incidents are the product of the author’s research.


Table of Contents





A Submission to the Government of Canada on the Subject of Poverty Reduction and Housing


Louis Shalako


No one is more qualified than I am to consult with this government on the subject of poverty reduction. A good poverty-reduction plan demands good information.

I’ve been on ODSP, a provincial disability pension, for roughly twenty-two years. Last year, I received $13,332.00 in provincial disability benefits. (T-5007)

According to the landlord’s annual statement, in 2016 I paid $9,441.00 in rent. That is 70.1 % of my disability income, rounded off to the tenth. I do operate a small business, and I do work part-time. This income is minimal, and falls well below the federal basic personal exemption, and social assistance isn’t taxable. In Ontario, if you earn above $200.00 a month, on ODSP, they’re clawing back fifty cents on the dollar. Clients can claim $0.18 per kilometre for mileage/deduction from income when staff are getting more like $0.50 per kilometre. This might be considered a disincentive to work, but it also represents a pretty big unofficial tax rate, one far higher than that paid by many Canadians at much higher income levels. Bear in mind that ODSP guidelines for business and employment don’t necessarily recognize the same business or employment deductions as the Canada Revenue Agency accepts as a matter of course. Simply put, it is difficult to increase one’s income on this particular provincial disability pension.

This government’s own figures and other industry experts would suggest that anyone paying much over one-third or 33 % of their income in housing costs is essentially paying too much for their housing.

I know the members will be reading my submission with great interest, and I’m sure the 12.6 % of Canadians who suffer from some form of disability will thank you for listening.

You have to understand, ladies and gentlemen, that the disabled get a raise of one or one and a half percent a year, and the landlord jacks the rent two percent, which eats into a pension which is steadily being eroded by an inflation rate which is always higher than two percent. 

Official figures for inflation leave out food and fuel, which are considered ‘volatile’. After food and fuel, what do low-income Canadians buy? They pay rent or other housing costs.

This is when a raise is not really a raise, isn’t it. Trust me, we can do the math. At some point, the landlord eats up all your cheque and prices you out of the market, which ultimately is not in their interest either. As long as the landlord is allowed to keep chipping away at those pensions, I reckon they’ll keep doing it. I pay the rent, and line up at food banks. It’s been months since I did a laundry. I cut my own hair—I never go anywhere, but the landlord always gets their money.

The disabled, the mentally ill, retired Canadians, find it difficult to move on short notice, now that the Province of Ontario has done away with the Moving Benefit. We are hostages to the profitability of our landlords and we don’t seem to get much respect for it.

They got us between a rock and a hard place, ladies and gentlemen.

Landlords don’t run for election, but this government has little choice but to do so.

The fact that we have food banks excuses a lot of the sins of the bourgeoisie. Because no one is going to starve to death if we do not act.

(My own personal opinion is that nothing will ever change, and things will only get worse, never better. This is based on experience and not just rhetoric.)

Naturally, I understand that this concept might be of some inconvenience to a few folks who have built fifty million dollar companies on the strength of packing their lower-income level buildings with the disabled, the mentally ill, single moms and the elderly. Anyone with a government cheque rolling in makes a good tenant, and a lot of them really can’t articulate their needs, can they? They’re too shy, too demoralized. They’ve bought into the social stigma. Too many Canadians are prepared to let their betters do all the thinking.

Consider me obtuse if you will.

Hence my present duty.

Stuff like that.

Back to the landlord.

...and consequently, relying on all those government cheques rolling in, to build up their own wealth, each and every month, thereby taking 75 % of the income of a disabled person, for example. So this and the provincial government don’t have a problem helping people build up their wealth—as long as it’s the right sort of people…right?

It’s pretty obvious that my disability pension isn’t going up six or seven hundred dollars a month anytime soon. That is a self-evident truth and there is no disputing it. Is that going to build up my wealth? Probably not, but it might alleviate some fucking suffering.

No, ladies and gentlemen, it’s not going to build up my wealth, but every stinking penny would be going straight back into the local economy, where it might generate as much as $1.78 in further economic spin-off benefits. You know, like food stamps (SNAP) south of the border. This has been borne out by study after study. Studies are the most useless, and therefore one of the most lucrative things you can do. Not that anyone ever listens, but the market is apparently insatiable. Too bad no one ever listens, eh. That must be terribly disappointing, but you got your money so oh, well.

There are many middle-class Canadians whose entire working lives will be consumed in the work of studying so very many things, studies which will never be used.

Such futility is not unknown in the lives of the poor, either.

One of my first suggestions in addressing the challenge (or opportunity) of low pensions and high rents would be a five-year moratorium on rent increases. This proposal includes those rent increases that fall below present thresholds, for example here in Ontario, any rent increase below two percent does not require review by any relevant body. The tendency here is for the typical corporate property management company to increase the rent every year, regardless of any true need, and in the absence of any major upgrades outside of regular, routine replacement programs due to wear and tear.

This represents corporate welfare in its most insidious form, for it actually carries out the government’s own program—for a price, namely, relatively affordable housing for great numbers of low-income Canadians. All of this, without the added expense on the part of government of actually building and maintaining significant public housing resources, which have been neglected for decades following the federal government’s ‘downloading’ program. 

The private sector gets the profits, the government of the day gets the social, economic and political liabilities. The very fact that this government is consulting on issues of poverty and housing implies some interest or responsibility in this area.

***

I believe it was a previous government who purchased $250 Million in ‘bad debt’ in order to shore up Canadian banks—who allegedly were never in any real danger of failure. A bad case of too big to fail. Interestingly, that particular web-page of the Bank of Canada is remarkably hard to find these days.

What happened there, eh? You’re pretty good about helping business, right?

Perhaps we are too small to worry about, or even consider.

No one has any real desire or incentive to inquire into the moral implications of this long-standing arrangement. However, the service for regular Canadians might be improved.

If you really wanted to. If there was the will.

What’s really strange here at the provincial level is that my electricity is included in the rent—and for whatever reason, the provincial electricity rebate/subsidy doesn’t apply to me. I don’t fit into any category on the website where one applies for this provincial benefit, which theoretically would provide me with a monthly $30.00 to $50.00 in relief. My big question here, is the landlord getting my electricity rebate, and if so, why? And my second question would be, why no reduction in my rent, in view of this subsidy to the landlord, a man who could afford to give $1.2 Million to the Sarnia Foundation.

(A philanthropist is someone who knows damn well he didn’t pay enough in taxes.)

Perhaps the federal government might discuss this unfortunate situation with the government of the Province of Ontario.

When it comes to disability tax credits at the federal level, and there are all kinds of scab outfits claiming to help people get these benefits, for some kind of fee or percentage, a person can’t take advantage of the benefits if they don’t achieve a taxable income in the first place.

Yet some of these tax credits sound pretty impressive, e.g., fifteen grand here and thirty grand there. Mostly, it’s feel-good propaganda, in other words bullshit. (http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/disability/ ) I’m sure this is all very useful for the average rich disabled person.

Them guys are pretty thin on the ground around here, and everywhere else, too. There must be a few people who are born rich and disabled. There’s really not too many other ways to get there, is there? Or even to have a decent life, which is really all most Canadians can 
realistically hope for.

This government might consider a renewed commitment to creating and maintaining, over the longer term, employment incentives for the employment of disabled people (whether in the form of cash or various tax incentives) for employers, (hell, maybe even the disabled employee), as well as for the clients of various federal and provincial social programs.

With all due respect to this government, one more mental health/addictions outreach program, funded for six months and with short-term, contract labour doesn’t do much to address the problem of poverty amongst this segment of the population. When people on ODSP are living 35-40 % below the poverty line and single moms and infants on welfare far below that, there are better ways to address these inequities, and make a real impact on exactly the same issues. 

All it requires is a minor paradigm shift, to another way of thinking about the same problem.

***

Here’s a funny thing.

If a person on fucking disability can pay $9,441.00 dollars in rent in a year, they can afford a small house, (in certain markets). The big hurdle is financing—some kind of credible down payment and then a mortgage, which is problematic when someone’s on ODSP at a rate of about $13,500 a year; including some small business and employment income. At least you’re building equity, and you don’t have someone on the other side of a very thin wall at both ends of the apartment. That’s not to say you won’t have an asshole as a neighbour because that is very likely to be the case. I calculated a $50,000 mortgage with ten percent down at around $228.00/month at the current rate, which is at a historic low. Money is cheap, right now. What we need is a plan, one that is long term and not something to be done on impulse. Once certain resources are in place, it is possible to strike when the iron is hot. 

Otherwise it’s a big scramble, followed by the inevitable disappointment when you couldn’t move fast enough. ODSP clients can have up to $7,000.00 in the bank, which very few of us do. We can also receive gifts, which happens sometimes. Unfortunately, we are not all created equal in terms of our parents, friends and relatives. So, how do you save that seven grand...??? Or earn it.

Or convince someone to give it as a gift. The odds are, I will never own a home again.

Yet I had one at one time.

***

This applies to the smaller markets, where perhaps meaningful stimulus has been neglected due to lack of ideas as much as anything else. The provincial government, incidentally, has been consulting on the subject of rural poverty. The federal government might just want to tuck that into the back of its collective mind as homes in the smaller centres are far more affordable than the Toronto or Ottawa markets.

Here’s another thing. One more nutritionist on the front page of the local paper, a big girl who likes to cook and only recently off of welfare or disability, on a six-month contract and a government grant, telling poor people how to make better nutritional choices when they’re lining up at food banks and taking whatever salt-laden, prepared foods of dubious nutritional value, three years past the expiry date (whatever they can get, in other words), would appear to be a waste of public resources, although it does generate false optimism in the minds of anyone not familiar with the realities on the ground and on the front lines of social policy.

What would happen to the economy if this government simply reduced the HST (Harmonized Sales Tax), the combined rates of seven and eight percent currently running at 13 % here in Ontario? All Canadians, at all income levels, would have a significant increase in discretionary spending dollars. Not everyone has the same need, but it is at least across the board, something which virtually everyone could and would support.

No one likes paying taxes, the funny thing is, the people in the best position to pay hate it the most, perhaps because they aren’t receiving the same perceived value from their contribution.

Poor people understand that taxation is essential, otherwise nothing ever gets done.

There are other considerations.

Increased income means increased demand, which means increased production—which implies that this government would have some control or input into the means of production, one of many sources of economic power, and perhaps the most legitimate.

Going back to the times of the Weimar Republic, it’s pretty obvious that excessive inflation wipes out public and corporate debt, destroys the savings of the middle class, and renders the mass of the people no more desperate than before.

In my opinion, this is an option of last resort as it requires great finesse to offset (in the positive sense), the usual, nominal cost-benefit analyses.


The Food Bank



Anyhow, I was at the food bank again today.

I got to the food bank at about twenty to eight and there were a couple of guys already there. 

One guy was saying his apartment is cold and he had to borrow an electric heater. Every 
device in his apartment is on one circuit. He goes to make toast and the fuse blows, there are sparks everywhere. He calls the landlord and the guy never gets back to him. The other guy was saying the person above him is a noisy, party animal sort of a guy, and the guy next door loses it and goes on some kind of psycho rant pretty often. The two are friends, and between the two of them, living there isn’t very good.

Yeah, I know all about it, Bud.

I just laughed.

By the time they open the doors, the chill has gone right through you, and by that time the lower back was screaming...I fell from a scaffolding and broke my back in three places many years ago. It kind of affects you in some ways…

Guy #2 was on Ontario Works and lives in Geared to Income Housing, which sort of confirms my own fears: the place is a zoo, and once you’re in there, they reduce your benefit and it’s awful hard to ever escape that scene.

(It’s okay, ladies and gentlemen. I’m a highly-trained Canadian journalist and I’ve been embedded in the story for 20 + years.)

Guy # 1 says he heats the apartment with the electric oven, an all too familiar story.

You could learn a lot, hanging out in front of a Canadian food bank.

Other than that, I sure hope the members of this committee have a very nice day.


Thank you for pretending to listen.



End





Louis Shalako is the founder of Long Cool One Books and the author of twenty-one novels, numerous novellas and other short stories. Louis studied Radio, Television and Journalism Arts at Lambton College of Applied Arts and Technology, later going on to study fine art. He began writing for community newspapers and industrial magazines over thirty years ago. His stories appear in publications including Perihelion Science Fiction, Bewildering Stories, Aurora Wolf, Ennea, Wonderwaan, Algernon, Nova Fantasia, and Danse Macabre. He lives in southern Ontario and writes full time. Louis enjoys cycling, swimming and good books.